Finding Love On The Internet Changed My Life
by Carrie G
Finding love on the internet changed my life. I swear.
Years ago, I attached allot of stigma to people who used online dating sites.
I am ashamed to say that at the age of 20, I thought those who used dating sites were sociably unable to meet someone in the ‘real world’. How immature I was for thinking that. I am now approaching 30 and have a very different opinion about finding love on the internet.
Back in 2001 I was unsure what I wanted. Having recently split with my husband I was very confused. I had a really short marriage of just 2 years.
In hindsight I shouldn’t have married so young but like allot of young girls, you think you are mature and you want to prove to everyone you are all grown up. I remember my wedding day very clearly, it took me all of ten minutes to get ready and my Mother kept saying ‘he will look after you’. I didn’t want looking after!
I had left home at a very young age and lived with Paul who was 10 years older than me for 18 months before we married. Brought up very religious, the religion forbids living together unmarried so my mum was very keen to get me settled down, probably to save face! Married life was very mundane. He was besotted, but the kind of desperate and needy, insecure type. Not the type that left you feeling flattered. I don’t remember spending a single night in with my husband. I worked all day and partied all night.
In 2001 I decided enough was enough. I could not go on hurting us both. He needed to see he should be with someone who wanted to spend time with him, and I needed to be true to myself. The split was very amicable, I had always paid the mortgage and financially taken care of us both so I kept the house and we remained very close friends.
After the split I carried on working and partying until one night in the summer I was burnt out. I realised I was tired of the social scene; I was meeting the wrong people. On my way to bed I passed the spare room where we had our computer. I spent the whole night chatting to all kinds of random people....wow I thought, you can actually have an in-depth conversation rather than the cheesy chat up lines I had received for years. Days turned to weeks and weeks into months, I got bored. Yes as usual I found it hard to connect with people and I got tired of the conversations.
I spotted one ad that read ‘Bi Curious’. Totally intrigued I clicked on. It was a 29 year old lady who seemed to match my personality. She was tired of a ‘brother like’ marriage and tired of male chat up lines.
We chatted for months as friends; it wasn’t until after 3 months of talking we decided to meet. She came to visit me and never went back home. 9 years later we have brought up her 3 children and have a grandchild on the way. She is my best friend and lifelong partner.
Meeting someone online cuts out all the wasted time. You get to know what someone is like and build a solid friendship. To me friendship is the best ingredient for a successful relationship.
Prior to the internet dating, I was rushing into relationships. You are able to remain in control with the internet, getting to know people at your own pace.
I don't think finding love on the internet is a foregone conclusion, but it ups your chances.
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