Internet Dating Tips To Increase Your Chance of Success
My internet dating tips aren’t always conventional. They may even downright contradict what you’ve been reading elsewhere. If so, great. At least you know you have a choice. Whether you choose to follow the well trodden path or strike out alone is entirely up to you.
Anyway having decided to give it a go is a great choice. Here are some internet dating tips to carry you through to your first date.
Don’t rush to meet anyone
You may feel under pressure to test whether the chemistry is real. To find out whether the prospect looks as tasty in real life as they do in their photos. You may even be a little bored with your day to day. Stop right there.
Meeting too quickly, before you’ve developed any real rapport, can seriously cloud your judgment. It can also be a great waste of time. You’re busy right? Use your time to best effect by getting to know your potential date a little better. This is the best investment you can make (next to making a huge effort with your essays).
Being a slow coach to meet people myself I’ve been accused of wanting pen pals! If you face the same simply shrug off such accusations with good humour. Meeting someone before you get to know them is really the equivalent of a blind date.
The logic behind this internet dating tip is that you’re far more likely to have an uncomfortable first date if you rush in feet first. My strategy has always to email for a while, and sometimes we speak on the phone. Push the boundaries with your emails, maybe even flirt a little to get comfortable with someone, but put off meeting for a while.
Don’t lie – honestly is the best policy!
Tips for internet dating must cover honesty issues. One of the biggest complaints about internet dating is that it’s populated by people by people who are economic with the truth:
- they shave five, ten or fifteen years off their age- they claim to have a fabulous high earning job, when they don’t- they lie about their marital status – past or present- they use photos that are ten years old or they even use other people’s pictures.….I could go on.
But if you believe everything you read about the subject you could easily believe that everybody is hiding something.The problem with lying at the start of a relationship is there is no where for the relationship to go. You might as well not bother. I conclude that if someone lies online, they will lie in real life.
Don’t fabricate your profile just to attract more people, you want to attract the ones that love you for who you are, not what you are not!
There is an interesting twist to this in terms of personality types. Both people with high and low self esteem use internet dating to meet people. However research suggest that certain people with low self-esteem are prone to make claims they wouldn’t make in real life. Just because they can.Please don’t let this be you.
Half truths or white lies may be OK
Here’s a surprising internet dating tip. Honesty is good, but being 110% truthful about everything isn’t always a person’s most attractive feature. There are also times when it’s not attractive to reveal too much too soon.
There are also some circumstances or occasions when a little white lie or massaging the truth may be acceptable. It’s not a popular viewpoint but there are times when presenting the facts slightly differently can make a big difference. This is not the same as lying in a manner which is likely to result in someone being hurt or you being accused of being deceitful.
For example, if you want to contact someone who says they are not interested in dating someone over 40 and you’re 42, well I’d say it’s up to you how you present the facts. At least initially.Another way of putting is that you don’t always have to tell the whole truth. Omitting a fact is perfectly valid, especially if it’s likely to put you in negative mode.
Do not believe everything someone says
This is the polar opposite of the point about being honest. You must be cautious with what you read in profiles and about what people write in their emails. This also means not getting too emotionally involved with the idea of someone until you’ve actually met!
Avoid stereotypical ideas for dates
Coffee? Drink? Dinner? I personally recommend some form of activity date that won’t take you too long and that you can escape from. Meeting for coffee is OK but can be a little stilted with someone you don’t know that well in person. Dinner can feel like a trap, even although you have done your best to get to know someone before hand. A drink in the evening can be more romantic but its not your only option.
Personally I prefer a creative approach. I recommend a visit to a market or gallery or ice skating or rollerblading or shopping – something casual that you can perhaps extend into a drink or supper if you feel the chemistry is there.
Arrive for your date separately
Only once did I make the mistake of meeting someone at my house. There are a number of reasons I have to share this internet dating tips with you and some of them may not be obvious.
Other websites will alert you to the safety issues of sharing your address with someone too early. This is very valid. But if you follow my approach of only meeting people who ‘know’ it’s probably of less concern.
My internet dating tip really refers to the fact that by sharing transport means you are stuck with each other, for better or worse.
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