Meeting new people online was scarey, but I got over it

by Emma

Meeting new people online was scary for me. But not half as scary as I thought it would be and that’s coming from a middle-aged woman who only really dated her husband!

There’s been no happy ever after for me (so far), but if anyone’s out there who’s not sure whether to try internet dating I wanted to say, give it a go.

I was with the same man for 25 years.

The thought of dating again scared me stiff. But not long after my husband’s affair, one of my best friends found herself single, so there was some comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone.

For years I had been listening to my friend’s talk of their conquests over a coffee at lunch break. I nodded in all the right places but in all honesty, I listened behind gritted teeth!

The stories they would share often made me thankful of my long marriage. I could never imagine starting all over again.

After my husband’s departure I was shattered. The divorce seemed to come extremely quickly and before it had time to sink in, I was a ‘Miss’ again!

The children were really supportive, even my friends often dragged me out at the weekends, but I just didn’t feel I fitted in. They all had bags of confidence and I’m certain I scared off most of the men in the bars with my scowling.

I had never paid much attention to the internet dating adverts on the television, but this one grabbed my attention. It had a lovely feel to it. Yes I know the marketers who made the advert did a good job, but won me over.

At first it felt a bit unnatural but funny enough, chatting to men online was so much easier than talking in a bar – I didn’t really have the confidence to start a conversation with a stranger.

I think I used the computer screen as a protection. Weeks would go by and I would find myself smiling at the screen like a school girl.

My confidence improved so much. I even encouraged my newly single friend to try to meet new people online. Her first reaction was “get outta here!” but she’s come round. I think she wanted to see what she was missing.

It was 5 months until I met my first online date in the flesh. Yep, I am a slow starter.

He was a lovely guy. He had good strong values about how people should be treated, which is one thing I look for in a man. Unfortunately I felt he didn’t seem to be over his ex wife as every conversation felt like a re-take of their life together.

Nevertheless we remain online friends and I still get messages from him a couple of times a week. We kind of compare notes I suppose.

I haven’t found my ‘Mr right’ yet but I am enjoying meeting lots of lovely interesting people. I am proud to say I feel like I have a choice – not bad for a girl of 52! I feel I can take my time.

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